Retro-ambulation: the mysterious future

The future has been a mystery ever since God first hinted to me about this whole "medicine idea" of his. I was simply minding my own business wondering what on earth I was going to do with my life, when he opened a can of mystery on me. Now, to be fair, I had been praying for God to speak to me about what I should do with my life, but I had no idea what I was asking for. I wonder how often we really do know what we are asking for when we pray? I know for sure that medicine was the last thing I would have guessed He would direct me into! I expected God to respond with an answer, like, "Joel, seek ye training in plumbing." Simple, easy to understand, no ambiguity. Instead, God only offering me a "next step" and has continued to guide me uni-stepically. I know I am learning to trust him as my future unfolds daily.

Melissa and I can, at any given moment with no advance warning, rattle off an amazing list of questions we want God to answer. Here are a few samples (though if you have been interacting with God much, I suspect you believe me without needed any proof):

• What nation will we spend our lives serving in?
  
• What sending organization will we operate under overseas?
  
• What aspect of medicine will we be involved in?
  
• What additional training should we get now?
  
• What residency program should I attend?
  
• How will we support ourselves overseas?
  
• How will we pay off our educational debt?
  
• What should we do today for our future overseas?
  

And on it goes. For all the information I have about the future I am walking into, I might as well be facing backwards. It is easy to get overwhelmed by the stunning barrage of questions. For me personally, it is even easier to go numb and wallow in the tepid tide of complacency ("If I don't have answers then I might as well stop asking questions and seeking answers."). In so doing I run the risk of failing to seek, ask or knock (Luke 11:9) and thus forfeit the answers. My prayers have been for awakened hunger to seek God, that I find the Sought.

Days are passing 24 full hours at a time and we are learning to trust Him more and more. For this season at least, Melissa and I are walking backwards into God's future for us. We are excited to get there, and by His grace we will get there.